Life in Rehab is BACK! Get ready for a slew of new projects for the new year! We just can't promise we know what we're doing!

Visit Life in Rehab's new Etsy shop
And because we're good friends by now,
our readers get 25% off
by entering the promo code
REHAB when you make a purchase!
So deck out, do some early holiday gift shopping,
strut your stuff and make a statement!


I'm on a mission. If I have never EVER not once replied to your comments, you may want to check this out: No Reply?



Saturday, November 24, 2012

Going Shopping


 
 Day Two of my Captivity:
I'm making no points with the nursing staff here.
They keep insisting I'm in pain.
I'm not.
They keep insisting I'm throwing up.
I'm not.
I asked as they brought me a second dinner tray last night at 10:00, only
to whisk that one away again, proclaiming it would cause me to throw up again,
"What year of Nursing School do you people take a class in Sadism exactly?"
 THIS is my dinner.
 Sam smuggled me some salt.
They tried to make me take my capris leggings off.
I told them I'd take off my pants if they bought me dinner.
I waved the packet of hot chicken water powder at them.

I still have the pants.

I haven't eaten since Thursday. 
The first reader to pop in here with a cooked turkey under their shirt 
gets a panda hat.
I'm Cranky, Grumpy, Hungry, and 4 other dwarves I can't list on a PG-13 blog.
And all of you, DO NOT wear a thong to the hospital.
Nurses with needles don't even have to warn you.
I'm just sayin'.

Have I mentioned I'm claustrophobic?
Like, I can't even use a regular stall in a ladies room.
The MRI machine is proof positive to me that 50 Shades of Gray is all garbage.
Sam standing there, holding my hand while I tried to break his fingers,
intermittently chirping, "Oh Baby, this is so COOL!!!"
did not help.
I'll be looking for plastic shark toys, his greatest fear, to start slipping into unexpected places.
 As soon as I finish my breakfast
~which is the "nutrition" dripping out of this bag~
I'm putting on my slippers, unplugging this beast to drag it along,
and making a break for it.
Don't rat me out.
So....
Heading for the hospital gift shop.
BRB.
If not back, avenge death.

6 comments:

Danni Baird @ Silo Hill Farm said...

Oh you are a trooper girl! Going shopping at the hospital!! Get better soon!

The Witch's Kitchen said...

Just a little tip. The lab people DO NOT like being called Vampires. You can use that information any way you like.

GET WELL SOON!

Gail said...

Sorry to hear about your gallbladder troubles! Get well soon, you're missing all the holiday fun!!!

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear your gallblader doesn't like to listen to you! please know that I hear you on those stupid little broth packets they are just teasing you. I was on them for 8 days (great way to lose weight) and you dont need that. So I hope you give them Hell!!!! I also hope that you are soon able to get out of that silly place that calls those broth packets food.
Dawn

Della said...

So sorry you are sick Sunny! You will be back to eating whatever you want in no time though :)

PJ @ Planned in Pencil said...

Im glad you were able to retain posession of your pants. The promise of a panda hat makes me want to drive to florida.