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Friday, November 30, 2012

Christmas Porn


Okay, it caught up with me.
 and yesterday, I saw the doctor and napped.
That was pretty much it.
 But the season waits for no one and nothing.
I'm amassing tools and implements of destruction as we speak,
and crafting will happen.
The family is actually excited to be home all weekend to drink hot cider
while we deck every surface in sight.
We have tons of gifts to make and gather too.
Basically, we promise to make up for a little lost time starting Monday,
and NOTHING will run you over $10.
In the meantime, let's kick off the melee in my favorite way.
How about some porn?
For those of you with a crush on amped up shades of red and green,
this clustered ornament spill filled in with ribbon could be easily  recreated
after a run to The Dollar Tree.
 THAT bow, that very one, was at Dollar General yesterday for $3.
Spray paint, glitter, some sticks from the yard, a tube of shatterproof balls,
and it is ON.
 Avoid the boutiques and raid the garbage and the yard.
 I'm SO tempted to make a "something's fishy" pun here.
If I do, can I blame it on the pain meds?
 This is such a great grandparent gift, I may have The Minions 
do this for my Dad and his wife anyway.
I will, of course, supervise the figures.
 Fast from scraps, no machine required, and oh, the possibilities!
 Too warm for a fire?
It's never too warm for a glow.
 This is a fast and easy stand out...
 
 ...and you can make it for ANY decor!
Frames like this are $3 at Walmart-
are you seeing a spectacular hostess gift idea?
 Quilts and woven textures add up to a cabin look.
Don't believe me?
I'll be proving it in our beachy bedroom.
 Dollar Tree pillars and Goodwill sweaters are the coziest lighting option EVER.
 Glass balls are cheap, and when paired with any vessel
you get riches for pennies.
Mixing with rustic woods makes it shine even more
Suess me up!
You don't need toddlers to love this wacky tower,
just a sense of humor and a badly
behaved inner child.
Mine's a flippin' brat.
 Sure, natural pine cones are nice.
Who said I'm nice?
Baby, I headline the HEADLINE the Naughty List.
 A little gold with your magnolia takes this swag through November and December.
Anyone else for less work?
 Enlarge a monogram on the printer, cut it out of foam core.
and give your entry a very grown up impression.
Foam core board is available at The Dollar Tree of course-
that fits the budget.
 Go carnival!
I love children's baubles and Mardi Gras goodies in my swags.
 My mother prefers a more calm and traditional mix.
Which means I get to play with both this year.
 Almost ANYTHING can be a snowglobe with a jar and lid, tiny trinkets,
and some drug store glycerin.
Just, for God's sake, SEAL the lid.
 Wine bottles get all the attention when you haul them to someone's house.
Sam plays the guitar with his "boys" every other Saturday,
and this week, he'll have this is hand.
 We're going to do some fake gingerbread this week.
It will not look like this.
Don't be cute.
Covered styrofoam balls on painted dowel rods
would brighten the buffet with very little skill or cash.
 Walmart, dollar stores, and discount dungeons galore have these blown glass look alikes
so you can get that over the top traditional shine and still pay the electric bill.
 Slide ornaments on twine and drape.
That's it.
And with the new shatterproof goodies out there, you won't have
drifts of jagged silver glass everywhere.
I really hate that.
 Pins, ribbon loops, and a styrofoam cone.
Yep, you're done.
 Are you in the spirit yet?
Have you already started figuring out what you could make?
"I've got six pickle jars, I can get glycerin while 
I'm picking up Grandma Ethel's rash cream!"
 That's thinking ahead!
Now let's get busy.
And remember, it's not about the stuff....
...it's about the magic.

3 comments:

Danni Baird @ Silo Hill Farm said...

I'm so glad you are in the Christmas decor spirit! I can't believe how many of those pictures I already had pinned!! You go girl!

Della said...

Oh it is so nice to have you really back!!! Love this post!

Michelle L. said...

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