Halloween Porn

Still not in the Autumn spirit?

 I think I can fix that.

 Put your flip flops in the closet and let's lock the door.

I have another Porn Post with images collected just for you

to excite and titillate.

If you aren't hot for some Fall decor by the time I'm done with you,

there's something very, very wrong.

 Nab an empty trifle bowl and whip up this tasty concoction,

with a candle, feather garland, ravens, vase filler, and glitter skulls,

or use several cylinders as shown here.

Whatever you have on hand is perfect.

Bring some real pumpkins home, and don't carve them, Krylon them!

Down here, these gourds get scary fast when you cut them;

Paint lasts longer.

 A plastic urn and debris from the yard make a designer look arrangement

for a song. Print and cut some dangling images and your dining table has presence.

 A little heavy cardboard and an exacto knife add up to some foreboding abodes

made fabulous with glitter.

 This would be easy to put together after a trip to the hardware store,

and it's charming enough to sail through to Christmas.

 Grab a plain feather wreath and go nuts with the ribbon factor.

Your usual colors would still work if you aren't into orange.

 Basic black pillow covers, buttons, and T-shirt paint...

I could keep these on the couch all year.

 Planning a party in the back of your head?

Either go nuts with the color and pattern...

 Or stark and austere. 

Either one makes an impression.

 No instructions necessary.

How genius is this???

 I love this idea, but I think battery powered candles would be a must.

 A Dollar Tree bangle covered in eyes?

My daughter would wear this year round.

 The heck with this as a display...

I just want the costume.

 If you grow your own pumpkins, this series is fabulous.

If not, choose a couple and just pay the mortgage instead.

 The only problem with this is having to explain it to the younger people in the crowd.

If you just want to start slowly, how about making a few new friends to play hide and seek with?

 Creepy in a Labyrinth way, this would stop your guests in their tracks,

and they'd be horribly confused as to why.

 How easy is this???

Make the eyes from craft foam and bask in the weird.

Day of the Dead images litter the internet, and they're easy to freehand

onto surfaces, because there are no rules.

 A little make up, a black dress, and you have an instant costume!

 Start with your front door to jump start your season.

Walking this gauntlet a few times a day will put ideas in your head.

 Dollar Tree snakes + black paint = Medusa Wreath.

 Start saving those egg cartons now for a flock of adorable bats.

You'll need pint-sized minions for this.

 I know you're already stacking plates at the store to make towers.

When you're in the produce department, try putting the Fall veggies together for your own

Creatures of the Night Zoo.

 What better time to replace that awful cow silhouette on the lawn?

 Bad for soup.

That's all I'm sayin'.

Talk about scratchy toilet paper...

 The chances that the kids will open a major vein playing video games on the couch are pretty slim.

Put that unused gauze to good use.

 Ribbon loops pinned to a foam circle make a wreath anyone can master.

 No candlesticks?

No problem.

Flip your wine balloons over on tiny pumpkins or pine cones.

You can fit more Cabernet in a tumbler anyway.

 A couple of pumpkins and some stuff from the dollar store add up

to some magic to delight the little ones.

 I've GOT to figure this one out.

 Marshmallows, pretzel rods and white chocolate~

YUM!

 Don't play coy with me. 

You know you laughed.

 Ripped up cheese cloth is cheap,

and it sure sets the tone.

 Take some foam wig heads, slather them in decoupage medium,

and smooth cheese cloth over them, then hang then in the trees.

Watch the neighbors pack.

 Cut some foam pumpkins in half, paint them,

and mount them on the door.

Great impact, very little cash.

 A fake eyeball glued to a bottle cap makes

an all-seeing party favor the kids will wear months after the holiday.

 Rubber band a bunch of bendy straws and fill with opaque Jello-o Jiggler until firm

for a deliciously bizarre party food.

 Ribbon scraps make it easy to haunt a hairstyle.

 How about drawing classic Jack-o-lantern faces on peach or mandarin orange snack

cups for a treat that isn't just another sugar bomb?

I'm over here gluing gems to fake pumpkins,

but feel free to bling up the genuine article.

 Tulle on a ring is simple and elegant.

 Out of time?

Get some Halloween Oreos, licorice whips and M&Ms.

Who doesn't like snacking on a spider?

A teensy, tiny graveyard is elegantly macabre.

 I don't like to wear panty hose, but gourds look smashing in them.

 Boo.

I think you get the rest.

 Do this one now to get the ball rolling.

 Steam-pumpkin style.

You could fake this with heavy paper and furniture tacks.

 This is a much better take on the crashing witch theme.

 Hot glue on a simple mask set on wax paper would do the trick here.

Simply paint and lurk.

 Drill holes in the pumpkins and glue flat backed marbles over them

for a stained glass effect when you turn on the lights.

 Yes you would.

Don't lie to me.

 Best. Costume. Ever.

 You will if you have teenagers, trust me.

 I'd so totally eat him.

One bite.

NOM.

 No one says the porch has to be frightening.

 It can be pure carnival if that's your style.

 Kim K is right now trying to match up that wall paint color.

(Kim is the true Queen of Halloween...for more ideas, start haunting her.)

 Well, this is one way to keep the kids close when you're trick-or-treating.

 A couple rolls of Dollar Tree craft paper, and you've got the neighborhood quaking.

 Print out labels on line and turn empty bottles and jars into an apothecary selection.

 Don't worry, we'll be back with more. 

For now, get that glue gun out!