The Lady Guinevere

 

Renaissance Festivals...ever been to one?

It's been a family affair for us for two decades.

I used to make our costumes every year.

Okay, I still do.

I am not in any way responsible for this though.

The designs are elaborate snippets of fantasy that are just FUN.

You can be whomever you choose.

Feel like joining in, but the idea of creating a costume seems daunting,

not to mention pricey?

Well, let's fix that, shall we?

Laura Tolton created the Guinevere Gown on Deviant Art,

making her design available to anyone.

I think we can all admit, it's pretty cool.

All you need are two twin size sheets from Walmart in your choice of colors,

and some trims!

No pattern even!

Savannah had the basic dress stitched up in two hours flat.

 I used Disney Princess Tinkerbell gems by the yard in two different sizes.

tacked them along the hems, then stitched jump rings to the shoulders,

attached lobster claw clasps to a rope of pearls and clipped them on.

 The princess trim is in plastic, so it washes easily.

The pearls obviously come right off.

 The tiny sized trim is on the full length of the sleeve opening.

 I simply double stitched between every other gem.

How did it turn out?

Let's call in our team of Princess Stylists to find out!

You really need experts in the field for the right effect.

 And who better to create the Princess Look than an 8 year old girl?

Choose a willing victim model...

 ...and let's just make him extra pretty!

 Ladies and gentlemen, my son, "Princess Sophia."

 The earrings really make it, don't they?

 This demonstrates how the gown flatters any body type.

Perhaps a little too well.

 Somewhere, there's a psychologist who will be sending his children to college

via the proceeds of this experience.

 Um...it looks pretty good on a woman too.

So if there's a Renaissance Festival in your area soon,

whip up this little number.

It ran us $12 to throw together!

 The sheets drape nicely, and they make it ready to wear straight out of the dryer.

Plus, let's face it...even at 52, being a princess is kinda fun, huh?

 And wouldn't you look grand at an Irish Festival this weekend?

Hey, Rocky, Watch Me Pull a Rabbit Out of My Hat

Nothing up my sleeve....

 I was having brunch at a friend's house a couple years ago, and this woman is perfect. Her house is always immaculate, the pool sparkles, the cars are pristine, the lawn is manicured. She ducked into her laundry room to grab linens, and I saw IT...the black hole where filth goes to die. I really relaxed around her after finding out she's human like the rest of us.

We all have...THAT...spot in the house.

That filthy, disgusting jumble of crap.

Even Monica Geller on Friends had a closet crammed with junk

in her otherwise OCD fueled world.

My craft and desk area used to be located in the Florida room,

but when Mom moved in, I had to relocate all my stuff to the dining room.

Often, I work up to time for dinner.

Do I take tons of time to put everything away?

Are you kidding?

 This catastrophe is in my dining room.

Next to my table.

Where we EAT.

Where I entertain.

This is just not working out.

For this little disappearing act, you'll need a sewing machine, a queen size sheet the color of your

walls ($10 at Walmart), buttons, scissors, and a measuring tape.

If you have basic sewing skills and an hour, you can pull off a disappearing act.

1. Measure the top of the shelves and add 1" to the dimensions.

2. Cut a rectangle that size

3. Measure the height of the shelves and the circumference

4. Measuring the fabric from the bottom up, cut a rectangle that size. Add 1" to the length,

2" to the circumference. We're going to save some work and use the hems that are already sewn

in the sheet.

5. Sew a hem in the raw edge of the length

6. Center the corner of the circumference to the front middle of first small rectangle you cut.

Pin this edge all the way around, making sure you have a 1" overlap in the front

7. Stitch

8. Plan your button holes on the flap that overlaps in the front and sew them. I did 7.

You can also just do ribbon ties with bows

9. Sew on your buttons

 10. GONE

Since it matches the wall, the whole mess melts away!

My sanity was worth 10 bucks and an hour.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to slipcover the upstairs hallway...

Piggies in Paradise

Summer.

There's a few weeks left.

A few glorious days of heat, sun, water, and casual style.

Your toes are all groomed to seasonal perfection and would like several more bare days.

If you have a couple strips of fabric, I have a new favorite 15 minute trick

that has my shoes and beach bag matching every time.

The first thing you'll need is a pair of flip flops with no style.

And let's face it, those plastic straps don't scream "ergonomic".

Most places have them on clearance now too!

That's cheap enough to own as many as you'd like.

Load up on rubber goodness.

First, flip the flops over and take your rattiest pair of craft scissors and snip

off those rubber buttons that hold the straps on.

Now you have a perfect blank canvas.

Resist the urge to initiate a rubber slap fight.

It's childish and beneath you...

*SMACK!*

I'll be using some scraps of one of my favorite tasty tropical fabrics.

Cut 4 strips about 3" by 18".

Measure loosely.

I measured after I cut so I could give you measurements.

Yeah.

For the first sandal, twist two strips together and form a point.

Insert this through the top of the sole and pull it through.

Tie this in a quick knot, pulling it very tight.

Bring the strips together and cross them to tie a loose knot.

Tuck in any raw edges.

Slip the strips between your toes to measure how high up the knot should be.

It should be on the top of your foot for comfort.

Tie three more knots all in a row.

Next, guide those two loose ends into the two remaining strap holes.

Slip your tootsies in again.

You're getting a custom fit on these, Baby!

Tie knots in the ends of the side straps under the shoe,

and trim all of the excess fabric ends on the bottom.

Tuck the knots into the wells the rubber buttons sat it.

You now have a pair of custom fitted, pretty summer flip flops!

If you make your own totes, you could match them up and be

 a coordinated bargain diva.

Mine match my Summer Mom Bag and my shopping cart.

Even Smidgeon thinks that's going way too far.

Yes, I have a cat as my Feline Fashion Overlord.

Is that as sad as it sounds?

(She IS stylin' though.)

Pillow Tricks

 You wake up. 

You feel anxious.

Something is wrong.

 

 It dawns on you, like bugs under your flesh.

The fear sets in.

 

 The screaming, horrible realization that turns your body to pure ice!

 You have company coming for the 4th, you have a ton of things to do already...

 ...and your entryway looks like THIS!!!

Faded, ugly, stained pillows...

and you've already got the fabric to cover them,

but not the time!

 

 Relax, pour a glass of something cold and refreshing.

In my case, diet gingerale.

Breathe.

Set aside 10 minutes, get your fabric, 

and grab a few safety pins.

 This is a basic 18 inch throw pillow.

 And this is 1 3/4 yards of light tropical cotton.

 It was true love at first sight, before I'd even seen the seductive price.

This is on sale at Joanns Fabric for $5.59 a yard.

 Set your ratty pillow in the center of the cloth.

You're starting with a basic rectangle here.

 Fold the bottom up so it goes just over half way.

 Take the other side...

 ...and fold it down.

Pull it a little snug.

 Grab the long tail on the left and pull it over the pillow,

gathering it when you reach the center.

 Do the same with the other side and tie the tails into a single

knot in the dead center.

 Simple enough?

Now tuck the tails around the back forming a nice,

finished knot.

 Tuck all raw ends in the back.

 Plump and arrange the knot so it looks slammin' impressive.

 Set the camera down and hear that tell tale "CLICK."

Wonder what you just took a picture of.

 Pin your knot securely in place.

 Smile smugly.

 Got another five minutes?

Do it again.

 But that's not quite enough.

Got another five minutes?

 I had this cotton duck print earmarked as a seat cushion.

I fully intend to make a muslin form and then stitch this into 

a box cornered slipcover.

Later.

 For now, I'll be using one yard of this, which is from 

Walmart and was a mere $6.99.

 I also used 3 stained and faded outdoor pillows that looked like total hell

but were still cushie and plump.

Keep the safety pins out too.

 Fold the fabric over the pillows so that the ends

meet in the middle.

Use a safety pin on each pillow to pin both thicknesses to the pillow

so that nothing will shift.

 Set the camera down again and hit the wrong button.

 Fold the ends over and box the corners;

basically, fold them like the ends of gift wrap.

Pin that in place, again through the pillow.

 Flip it over.

Would you guess how jacked up this is?

 One more, using a nasty lumbar pillow.

You want the fabric to overlap when you fold it over the middle of the pillow,

with eight inches extra on each end of the length.

This was from Joanns a few years ago, but they do still have it.

I've used it on several decorating projects.

You'll also need two rubber bands.

 Fold the fabric with right sides together.

Using the pillow as a guide, gather the ends one at a time.

 Secure the gather with a rubber band.

Yawn laboriously- you've been at this for twenty minutes,

and you're exhausted!

 Okay, this is what you should have.

Turn it right side outso the rubber band tails are inside.

 Adjust your gathers to make them neat and pretty.

 Stuff your pillow inside.

 Do a second one. Your thirty minutes are up.

 Now, dress up that front door.

 God, that's soooooooooo much better!

Maybe I'll get some sleep tonig....

CRAP! 

The bathroom!!!