The Ugly Beginnings.

 One thing I like to show here is the ugly truth.

Ever feel daunted by a big project because your inspiration photos are so effortless and perfect?

 Well, my virtual besties, here, we'll have none of that!

 Before you see the spot where I'll be kicking up my feet,

let's take a peek at the REAL before pics.

Not the cleaned up, golly-I'm-embarrassed-but-this-needs-a-dot-of-paint pics...

 ...but the holy-crap-how-do-humans-live-there pics.

 This tangle of bougainvillea has about a three foot clearance.

 We tried hoisting it with a rope and nearly tore out the fascia boards.

That means there's just one thing left to do.

 It's time to get all medieval on this landscaping.

 We'll need the following for this project:

Pruning sheers

A tree saw

Large trimmers

Villagers

Torches and pitchforks

Light explosives

A few Orcs would be helpful

 I'd like to park my butt over here, and no matter how much weight

I've lost, I'll need a lot more space.

 Sam likes to be here.

He's 6'3".

The headroom here is more suited to a two year old.

Who's crouching.

 This privacy fencing separated the two areas.

It's less than private now.

 Plus, there's a decided lack of shade in the hot Florida sun.

 Dragging a chair out EVERY time is impractical.

 We first ruthlessly chopped out the larger branches, 

trying to leave green growth that was trainable from the patio side

while carving out an entrance.

 Flex for me, Baby.

 The passion vine had to be extracted during surgery.

 I hit this side with Bonsai precision, sculpting an arbor from underneath.

 And the pile began to form.

 Pretty soon, I was seven feet in and could see the house.

Time to expand that.

I pulled back the trainable growth with bungee cord and kept going.

An hour later, there was a huge difference.

 Hauling of debris courtesy of Slave Labor.

Minions. 

Don't start a project without them.

 And she looks damned good clearing a yard too.

 When my husband could step through,

we knew we had it under control.

 Now we need to arbor this hot mess, but after two solid hours of team tame

in the afternoon sun, we slunk inside.

 We left our afternoon foreman in charge.

Not much else got done, surprisingly.

He's a little jumpy.

Tomorrow, free privacy screens, recycled planters, and shade solutions.

Does anyone have tweezers?