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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Ruby, Ruby, When Will You Be Mine?

Okay, it's Wednesday, and time to run head on into this train wreck.
To start with, we have an anything-but-blank canvas.
 There's no ice maker, so definitely no ice or water 
through the door, the freezer doesn't,
and it's about as ugly as an appliance can get.
How ugly?
So ugly, when it walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.
 If ugliness were bricks, it would be the Great Wall Of China.
So ugly, it went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
If ugliness was a crime, it'd get the electric chair.
It's so ugly, it could model for death threats.
So ugly, when it was born they put tinted windows on it's incubator.
It's so ugly, it has to sneak up on mirrors.
So ugly, when it looks in the mirror its reflection turns to stone.
It's so ugly, when it sits in the sand the cats try to bury it.


However, a fridge in my workshop for cold sodas, 
extra fruit, bags of ice, the hubby's beer, and bread bought
on sale wouldn't be awful.
The old refrigerator can handle that.
So let's give it a new life, shall we?
Job Number One:
Spray the pallet we got with Dean (our new, sleek, black double door)
with a few coats of Rustoleum Satin Green Apple.
The floor in my workshop is at ground level and gets water,
so this will elevate it and prevent further damage.
For free.
We like free.
So once it was our signature bright hue...
...we put it in place.
The Behemoth got a scrub down with 505, an almost industrial grime
and grease remover, then a wash with white vinegar and water
to cut through the chemicals.
 Thom cleaned the doors separately to get the gunk out of the seals and put them back on.
Next, all the rusted spots were sanded with a fine grit until the
 bubbles, lesions, contusions, leprosy and mange were smooth.
So now we have a level hot mess.
Okay, it's clean. It's sanded. That's it, right?
Wait, there's obviously a lot more; my scroll bar is still near the top!
What could they be....NO!.....there's no way they'd even consider...
I hate to confirm your deepest fears, but yeah.
We're spray painting the thing.
Okay, five cans.
This will seal the rust while protecting the finish
while transforming The Behemoth into a sleek and shiny siren
we intend to call Ruby.
Fellow Supernatural fans are now making the connection.
 Why red?
They were out of Spa Blue.
We switched gears to bright 50's pink.
We settled on Gloss Candy Pink, but whils Savannah and I were sitting in the parking
lot in the Prius, we said to ourselves...
The verbal leap from Dean to Ruby was swift and had us in the exchange 
line before you could say "Inappropriate Color Choices."
Have I ever done this before?
Like most of my endeavors, no.
Tiling, ripping out floors, sledging out walls, pouring cement,
prying old windows out of the 1927 housing, even ripping out a toilet?
All on the first try.
Go fearlessly, nothing is irreparable.
If you screw it up, do it again.
One thing we're going to do before we screw this one up... tape off the gaskets and handles while The Redhead continues huffing Rustoleum.
Patience pays.
Light coats stick better and give you a smooth. even finish.
If you have full coverage on the first pass, you're going to have streaks, runs, or "hot spots."
 And what you want is a trampy shade of siren you can giggle at every time you're thirsty.
 It's still drying, but...yummy.
 Next, untape, or detapify, the handles and tape AROUND them.
Tiny bits of tape follow the curves.
 Handle more expansive real estate with newspaper.
 Now let's get the trim.
 While we painted the handles in the carport...
 ...Samwow decided he didn't like the hinges bathed in red...
...and made changes.
 Okay, time for the Mini Reveal.
I say mini, because we still have some aesthetics to tweak,
like the gaping maw in the door that used to spew ice like a log flume ride.
 I have an evil plan.
But for now, may I present...
 ...Miss Ruby!
The hinge covers are back on.
Sam, who has a degree in electrical engineering, ran power for us,
 and we had our workshop fridge!
Pass the I Can't Believe It's Not Champagne!
(By the way, I received a couple of emails chiding me for showing the newly
21 year old Samwow yesterday drinking a beer.
It's bottled Grape Crush soda, people.
None of the Minions drink.)
And neither do I.
But a little Zen down time with a glass of bogus
Asti Spumante while the next step dries is definitely on the agenda, isn't it?
Okay, weigh in Guys...
do we love the red?


Dharma said...

LOVERLY!!!!!!!! I did the red, cannot wait to see what you have in store for the

Michelle L. said...

I was scared of the red...until I saw it with the silver trim. It is fabulous! It always thrills me how you guys will tackle anything! I would have set it out on the curb, never would have considered a paint job. One of your best!

Danni Baird @ Silo Hill Farm said...

I have to agree...the silver makes the red much better! This was a fun read as usual! Staying tuned....