Nick of Time Hurricane Lantern

 Now, many of you may have noticed the subtle signs:

Women standing in school parking lots outside of their vans, cheering;

Cute summer fashions being shoved brutally aside for racks of khakis;

nausea-inducing Christmas decorations are up in some of the stores;

Yes, my besties, it's nearly Fall.

I don't know about you, but I like to ease into my transitions,

so we decide early on what our holidays will look like.

That way, anything I make can sail through from September to March

And lucky, lucky you, this year we've decided on metallics.

You know, conservative stuff.

For today, you should have on hand:

4 frames from The Dollar Tree

Silver spray paint

Plumber's Goop silicone adhesive

Some beads, shells, acorns, or other small decorative doodads

 

 First things first (so far I'm making sense):

Remove any glass or matting from the frames.

 Haul those puppies outside...

 ...and Chromify them!

Do very light coats for even coverage.

Let them dry thoroughly, preferably while you're preparing dinner 

or putting plywood over the windows.

Not bad, eh?

 Here's where the Goop comes in.

 Put a big sloppy glop on the inside corner of each frame.

 Realize a little too late that there's now glue all over the place.

Get some newspaper.

Set the glass back in the frame.

 Slap a little more Goop on top of the glass.

This is not going anywhere anytime soon.

 Go to bed.

 It'll be dry in the morning.

 Set your alarm for 4:00am and come back downstairs,

secretly praising whomever invented the programmable coffee maker.

 That looks a little funky, huh?

 Grab the Goop again and no one ever has to be the wiser.

 Do your own thing.

 And have a little fun with it.

 Recite the Non-Conformist's Oath:

 I promise to be different!

 I promise to be UNIQUE!

 I promise not to repeat things other people tell me to!

 Thank you, Steve Martin.

 Obviously, this needs to dry too.

 Half of my life is spent waiting for things to dry.

 Now, just in case there's mischief afoot, as

there usually is should you have Feline Overlords...

 Stack your project so it looks less like a bed.

 Prepare to be snubbed.

Severely.

 Next, glue the seams together.

 Form a box.

 Pop the last pane on...

 ...make sure the seams are straight, prop it, and...

Let

It

Dryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

 Long, drawn out, but totally worth it.

Add a candle, and you have a seriously stand out hurricane lantern.

After Ivan slinks by, I'll go solar with this and take it outside.

Right now, I'm kinda busy bringing most of our stuff INSIDE