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Friday, August 31, 2012

Market with Me at the Shoppe?

Tomorrow is the party.
Am I ready?
Do I have a plan and the energy to execute it?
 For those of you who have escaped my rambling,
tomorrow is Ms. Savannah's 18th Birthday Soiree,
and she has chosen a British theme.
Fortunately, I live in a metropolitan area and have access to ANY ethnic
cuisine you could imagine.
Miami is a fantastic melting pot of cultures, food, art, festivals, and shops.
Within walking distance of our house are four Asian markets,
from Korean to Thai.
English fare?
 No. Sweat.
 And this shoppe has a fantastic tea room with ornate plumed hats you are free to borrow for effect!
They do regular tea, along with birthday parties.
However, my besties, we're here for the food.
 And the selection here does not disappoint!
This tin doubles as a bank, by the way, with a slot for change in the top.
 As does this one.
 Oh, the decisions!
 I think we should start with a nice honey comb from the farmer's market 
next door to give the table a touch of OOMPH.
Not a problem!
A nice red, white and blue floral arrangement with a Union Jack
should set a formal tone.
We have to have a banner.
Definitely a necessity for our refreshments!
I was told tea is a must for the day's menu.
Oh know the strawberry hound wants this.
If you've been to Club Cool, formerly known as Ice Station Cool, located at the Innovations Pavilion at Disney's Epcot, you know that you can buy the world a Coke...

...but you can't make them drink it.
 What could be crazier party food than zesty honey???
What a kooky food!
Oh, wait...
Haggis is a savory pudding containing sheep's pluck (heart, liver and lungs); minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally encased in the animal's stomach and simmered for approximately three hours.
My husband eats this at Scottish Festivals.
Not even on a bet, mind you.
I have to buy some of this, just for the faces.
I seem to have forgotten that my daughter is a vegetarian?
 Au contraire.
The senseless brutal murder of innocent carrots is afoot!
If that's not enough, I think really salty canned fish with the heads
on them ought to do it.
No offense to my besties in London, but...
 Let's get to the tasty stuff, shall we?
 Candy made out of tea?
Someone is taking this whole thing too far.
 Same island, right?
Look, she gets her red highlights from my side.
She can do some Scottish on her scones.
 I might eat these.
In the car.
On the way home.
And smuggle the box to the trash in the side yard.
Ever done that with a Burger King bag?
Oh, shut up, you have too.
 Absolutely, without question, on the menu.
I can see a Victorian parlor now.
Oh, my bad...
Doctor Who fans, relax!
We'll have these AND Jelly Babies for the premier!
I make amazing shortbread;
I used to bake wedges dipped in chocolate every Christmas for my grandfather,
a Thomson from Edinburgh.
(Ever wonder where Thom got his name? It's Thomson, not Thomas.)
Alas, mine is not in the shape of, and I quote,
"OMG, those are the squeeeeeeeeeeee cutest puppy cookies ever the feels I have
 I want them because of REASONS!!!"
I'll be purchasing a box.
I was unaware sophistication came in a box.
Tea would hardly be complete without lemon curd and a jar of
wild, sexy, out-on-a-limb jam with champagne!
 I may need to get a tiny gift or twelve...
 We don't watch soccer, but we could claim they have a spot on curling league, right?
 Hey, at least I knew who Manchester United was, okay?
 Perhaps a puzzle?
A room full of teens concentrating for hours on a scale model
of the SS Titanic!
Yeah, I don't see it either.
 I loved the card selection.
"You're 50, Dowager, stiff upper lip and wax that hump!"
 Tell me there's a euphemism in there somewhere.
 Add this to the list!
 Let's make our Welsh/Mohawk grandfather happy, shall we?
No, not THAT happy.
I'm buying her things she can't use right now
 for her first apartment.
Why not something for a car she doesn't have?
 I like them.
But they don't look like clubs.
So right now, I'm shifted into high gear,
listening to traditional British music for inspiration.
I keep sliding my bra off under my shirt and hurling it at the wall for some reason.
After I've gathered my underwear, I'll commence with slicing 
cucumbers paper thin and spreading unsalted butter on white bread,
an item never before seen in my home.
It said to right here in this book.
Next week, tea cake recipes, lemon bread, decoupaged pumps 
and mustache pictures.
I can't show too much with the birthday girl stalking me!


Danni Baird @ Silo Hill Farm said...

Well, you have certainly shown me a side of jolly old England I didn't know existed! Gagging over the Haggis, although my husband eats it at the Scottish festivals too...he thinks he has to because he's Scottish, even though he doesn't like it! Please post a picture of the vegetarian Haggis, because I can't believe it's going to be pretty. I might like to try that tea candy. And, I may be stealing that Squeeeeee quote, because it's just cute and funny! Have fun and can't wait to see what's next!

Della said...

You literally had me laughing out loud at the "I can see noise" part! OMG! You kill me! Samantha is going to have a great birthday :)

Hey, I want to try some of those Violet Cremes! Yummmmmm

Anonymous said...

WOW-- I've lived in the UK for almost four years now and never heard of that brand of tea! Everywhere we go it's Twinnings and Typhoo. One of the first things we learned though is that tea, is dinner as in will you be staying for tea or you'll have to come round for tea. Usually if they mean tea to drink, you're offered a cuppa.

Crisps are potato chips, biscuits are cookies, shrimp are prawns and aubergine is eggplant. Things are Fab and Gorge, any patch of grass is the garden and air conditioning does not come standard in homes and shops. There's also no garbage disposal in the sinks, which makes soup and stew nights round here so, so much fun when it's time to tidy up.

When it's time to celebrate though, every house, garden and shop is draped in flag bunting. Though I imagine there isn't any time to order any, it's simple enough to whip up on a dime and as I said, I can personally assure you that it is up to the Brit's standard for party decor.

If you're wanting a more modern take on music, you should be able to stream it off the net or pick up one of BBC Live Lounge CD's.


~PJ said...

Vegetarian Hagis? That's inappropriate on so many levels! How amazing that you have this resource, I know from personal experience that the only thing british here in NW PA is the lonely jar of clotted cream in the local Giant Eagle.

Now, what I will tell you is that I was driving home from work tonight and saw a cinderblock in someones trash and I honestly thought of you, that necklace and your daughters birthday. So happy birthday wishes from NW PA! said...

I LOVE this idea for a party theme. Can't wait to see it all play out. I might be able to convince my tween to do a British party theme for her October birthday!!

lisbonlioness said...

IRN BRU!!! OMG you have to try Irn Bru! It is so absolutely, totally, unimaginably disgusting! I love that stuff. In Glasgow, it sells better than Coca Cola and Pepsi together, and nothing cures a hangover like a can of this orange wonder. Did I mention it's disgusting?
Ahmads' tea is a ripoff- this brand does not feature heavily on English or British shop shelves. But everything else, apart from the preserve, is spot- on!
If Vannah is into England (or Britain) BIG TIME, let me know- I can send you some goodies that no shelf in America would want to feature. To say the least. All I would ask in return is that she NEVER sports one of those Manchester United merch things... that's wrong, just plain wrong. As far a English teams go, it HAS to be Liverpool, and for the Scottish side of things, it's Glasgow Celtic all the way. Deal?
Now go get some Irn Bru, you can thank me later.