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Friday, May 11, 2012

Solar System: Part Five

Once upon a time, there was a perky little sixth grade princess
 searching for her style and a bad fashion idea.
 The queen could not resist her daughter and indulged her whims.
 And THESE filled the palace in every color.
 Eventually, like any really good princess, our heroine realized she had the power to save herself.
 This conviction was underscored by her enchanted animal friend,
Smidgeon, who learned to talk for the occasion and encourage
the princess in her quest by hacking up a hairball
in all of the rubber footwear whilst screaming, "BLECH!!!"
The villagers put away their pitchforks and torches,
and the crowd went mild.
The queen declared it a holiday and granted her loyal subjects each a can of wildly 
hued Rustoleum spray paint that was also good for plastic.
From here, our tale gets Anime' weird.
To join us on this quest, arm yourself with the following:

Crocs, found in the fetid pit at the back of your closet
A solar stake light, $2
Your choice of Rustoleum paint color, $3,97
Heavy gauge wire
A small herb or flowering plant
A power drill with a hefty bit
Coffee filters
Lay your clean Crocs or cloggy knockoffs on a tarp.
We've seen a variation of this
...somewhere...?
Ours is going to be different, but if anyone knows the site that 
these were originally on, DO tell me!
I didn't visit the blog, unfortunately.
 Arm yourself with fun spring colors.
Start spraying, inside and out.
Drench the whole clog.
Once the beasts are subdued with a shot of fabulous, allow
them to dry thoroughly.
Well...they're bright.
 Drill a hole straight through the heel of the clog,
making sure the bit comes out through the bottom.
Note the scrap of lumber protecting my table.
 Grab a coffee filter.
You may find yourself needing some coffee to stay conscious through
 my tutorial. Indulge. We'll wait. I'll take a cocoa if you're going.
Anyway, flatten the filter.
 Scoop the green and growing thing of your choosing out of its
plastic tray...
 ...and plop it in the center of the filter.
 Tuck that in the toe of the shoe.
 Add more soil if needed.
 The filter will hold it all in while providing drainage.
 Clip about 18" of wire, or however much you're going 
to need to hang your little sconce creation.
50 feet for $1 from The Dollar Tree.
We love that.
 *SNIP*
Just like a trip to the vet.
Are you working in a tidy, organized area?
What's THAT like???
Next, double the wire up by folding it in half and thread it 
through the hole you drilled in the heel.
 Pull it all through, leaving just a loop
about 3" on the other side.
 Get that solar stake, test it to make sure it works,
and shove it violently put it through the wire loop
behind the plant.
Like this, see?
 Let's take another unnecessary shot while we pull
the wire tighter.
 Suggested beverage pairing for this project: The Mockarita,
tonight in mixed berry.
 Turn that baby ON!
 Ooooooooooo, ahhhhhhhhhhhh.


 Now, if you'll pardon me...
 ... I have a few more of these to make by Monday...
 ...when we do the Full Monty Lighting Reveal,
and you'll see how all of this works together.
We may have the budget for better special effects and back drops by then.
Don't hold your breath.

Wanna catch up?
Let's recap the disaster that was this week, shall we?

2 comments:

Danni Baird @ Silo Hill Farm said...

Alas....my crocs are all open toed sandals. But this is seriously clever!

Michelle @ Dream Home DIY said...

If you're ever up this way, I certainly need a lesson from your green thumb :) I kill everything green in sight and am too afraid to try again......