Bad Assistance

I've gotten emails from time to time asking how I manage to get anything done with a full time job. The answer is simple: I have live in help. The Feline Overlords are not merely decorative; they each have a highly specialized role in the running of our household that aids in affording me a sufficient amount of leisure time.

 

Boo does her best playing live Swiffer on our stunning new floors. Note how the finish was chosen to compliment her coloring. We pay attention to detail.

Cricket is especially vigilant in making sure the top of the bar is pristinely clutter free. She also performs gravity checks at the same time. Usually accompanied by a loud crash.

Fai and Wells take my scatter rugs outside for an occasional mauling shaking. They have not mastered bringing the rugs back in. Nor do I suspect they intend to.

Jack takes the cushions off of the patio chairs to preserve a clean, uncluttered look. They're also very useful for hiding dead lizards. Or mice. Or birds. Or...

Ollie has offered to hose off the grill. He's just waiting until his thumbs evolve.

 Ms. Smidgen has a more supervisory role, therefore she chooses an good vantage point for directing productivity. A field she has no experience in.

Yuui is shedding highly decorative contrasting hairs on the rug. These are fundamental in letting Sammy know what needs to be vacuumed. He also shreds the trunk, but that's really more of a hobby.

Blackberry is in charge of eating my orchids. In fact, she's department head and a creative consultant to the Garden Decimation Team, who think my raised beds are really badly stocked litter boxes.

And here's Arthur stuffing shoes and dirty socks under the couch. Let's see how well those scented candles work now!

She also enjoys leaving small "surprises" in the shoes as just an added free service.

So as you can see, the well-oiled, super organized machine that is Life in Rehab is so uber-efficient that I have tons of time left on the weekends to devote to crafts, cooking, sewing, gardening and repairs after I finish my bon bons and in between bouts of having David Boreanez fan me with peacock feathers shirtless. Now run along. I have to teach the dogs to do dishes. Right now we have a few sanitation issues.