Game of Thoms: A Feast of...Vegetables?

We'll try not to "boar" you today.

Black swan. Unborn puppies. A hundred live doves “baked into a great pie” and prepared to “burst forth in a swirl of white feathers.”

Those are some of the dishes I decided not to attempt for our
 Game of Thrones-themed birthday party.
Puppies? REALLY???

George R.R. Martin’s “Song of Ice and Fire” books are famously long, and roughly half of the word count is devoted to describing what the characters are eating. One wedding feast features an ode to most of its seventy-seven courses; even a rundown of frozen defense outpost’s dwindling supplies is good for a three-page litany about storerooms filled with “potted hare, haunch of deer in honey, pickled cabbage, pickled beets, pickled onions, pickled eggs and pickled herring.”

I'm in a pickle because I refuse to even consider preparing any of this in my kitchen.

Fortunately, we own this book, and the character's from
Martin's fetid imagination were as fond of their
roughage as they were of parting main characters with their heads.
Or animals with their heads.

We've opted not to decapitate the brie.

The simple part of this is...that everything can be simple.
For the most part, rustic can define the platters of tantalizing tome fare.
cheeses, a good artisan bread, olives, spreads, smoked oysters, and antipasto
vegetables should do the trick.

The Birthday Boy wouldn't touch soda if you threatened him,
so some mulled cider with cranberry might be in order.

Presentation is the key, making everything look like a feast when plated.
I'll be using marble pastry boards and wooden cutting boards to serve.

And of course, imaginative names.

Sumptuous presentation with an abundance of goodies...
I hope apples are on sale tomorrow.