What's Blooming in My Redneck Yard?

 The wool. It has been pulled over your eyes. By me.

While I've been showing you carefully framed shots of my gardening skillz, I have been leaving a few details out.

 Before we became Chateau Inferno, I referred to our domicile as Casa de Redneck.

 So look beyond the lantana, and let's take a tour of the hot mess that is my yard.

And if you're feeling brave enough to keep it real, join me over at The Borrowed Abode for their 2011 Redneck Yard of the Year Contest! There's a fabulous prize to be had for ticking off your neighborhood association and being a slacker!

 So, ready to widen the camera angles and reveal the travesty?

 Come out of the manicured planting beds.

 Look beyond the thriving herbs.

Ignore the flourishing tomatoes.

 Let's instead gaze at the fact that the twine on the solar lights all broke.

 And that behind that is a rusted former grill waiting for the day when I FINALLY organize a yard sale.

 Last year's raised bed, swamped with grass.

 A big storage pod just parked in the yard for aesthetics.

 I had this wall of the house covered in a beautiful, leafy vine. I liked it. I had hired a handyman to fix the roof. He tore the vine down, trying to convince me to paint the house.

I can paint. I'm not paying you to do that.

I accented this with ladders, a pile of rubble, a 5 gallon bucket, and leftover plywood.

I really think it makes the air conditioning unit stand out.

 My side yard work area, simply bursting with charm.

 I attempted a patio over here. I failed.

 The lower patio, strategically situated near a beehive we need to smoke out.

&%^$#@!!! bees.

 How about a shot of a crumbling IKEA dresser on the front lawn through the chain link?

My neighbors love me, they do.

 Find the dog in this jumble. It's a challenge.

 Mailbox with an eastward list. Because we have 3 teenagers with learner's permits.

 The view of and from the carport.

The bedroom door we just replaced.

Now you understand where I glean all of my inspiration.

 Arwen's nearly bald butt and weird tail hump.

 Technically, it isn't yard.

But it IS rather redneck. 

For all of you dog lovers out there, she's on a ton of meds and gets weekly baths with prescription shampoo. This is as good as it gets. Her vet refers to her as a show dog.

I hope you enjoyed our little tour of the landscaping outside the quadruple wide trailer, the only 2300 square foot mobile home on the planet. I'm gonna go sort out my tin can collection now and cook up a possum.

Yee. Haw.