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Sunday, April 24, 2011

What's Blooming in My Redneck Yard?

 The wool. It has been pulled over your eyes. By me.
While I've been showing you carefully framed shots of my gardening skillz, I have been leaving a few details out.
 Before we became Chateau Inferno, I referred to our domicile as Casa de Redneck.
 So look beyond the lantana, and let's take a tour of the hot mess that is my yard.
And if you're feeling brave enough to keep it real, join me over at The Borrowed Abode for their 2011 Redneck Yard of the Year Contest! There's a fabulous prize to be had for ticking off your neighborhood association and being a slacker!
 So, ready to widen the camera angles and reveal the travesty?
 Come out of the manicured planting beds.
 Look beyond the thriving herbs.
Ignore the flourishing tomatoes.
 Let's instead gaze at the fact that the twine on the solar lights all broke.
 And that behind that is a rusted former grill waiting for the day when I FINALLY organize a yard sale.
 Last year's raised bed, swamped with grass.
 A big storage pod just parked in the yard for aesthetics.
 I had this wall of the house covered in a beautiful, leafy vine. I liked it. I had hired a handyman to fix the roof. He tore the vine down, trying to convince me to paint the house.
I can paint. I'm not paying you to do that.
I accented this with ladders, a pile of rubble, a 5 gallon bucket, and leftover plywood.
I really think it makes the air conditioning unit stand out.
 My side yard work area, simply bursting with charm.
 I attempted a patio over here. I failed.
 The lower patio, strategically situated near a beehive we need to smoke out.
&%^$#@!!! bees.
 How about a shot of a crumbling IKEA dresser on the front lawn through the chain link?
My neighbors love me, they do.
 Find the dog in this jumble. It's a challenge.
 Mailbox with an eastward list. Because we have 3 teenagers with learner's permits.
 The view of and from the carport.
The bedroom door we just replaced.
Now you understand where I glean all of my inspiration.
 Arwen's nearly bald butt and weird tail hump.
 Technically, it isn't yard.
But it IS rather redneck. 
For all of you dog lovers out there, she's on a ton of meds and gets weekly baths with prescription shampoo. This is as good as it gets. Her vet refers to her as a show dog.

I hope you enjoyed our little tour of the landscaping outside the quadruple wide trailer, the only 2300 square foot mobile home on the planet. I'm gonna go sort out my tin can collection now and cook up a possum.
Yee. Haw.


GranGoddessa said...


What a great post! loved all aspects of it, the writing, the pictures, the content. Fantastic and making my day. If we did not have an apartment, my partner would have our yard looking like yours! :)

La Vie Quotidienne said...

Very, very cute...everyone has these kinds of places but aren't brave enough to share them. That huge tree and the topical foliage in the back are great and I love the architectual style of your house. Incidently, I am posting about garden chaos this week too, in fact it's so horrible I think I have you beat. LOL Have a wonderful Easter.

Michelle L. said...

Arwen, sweet angel pup! I love her to pieces! This post had me gurgling and hooting throughout, you are the tour guide de jardin extraordinaire!

Hoot, gurgle, Happy Easter Sunday -


Olive said...

We all have that lovey. Today I put out brown mulch in my flower garden {I just had to have some}. It is covered in red bugs and they are coming in the house! I am sticking to pine straw from now on! I also take a lot of close up pics...they are prettier after all. Happy Easter♥

lisbonlioness said...

You know... as long as Sunny Lane looks as it does, I don't give a flying fiddlers' fart about the disintegrating dresser. And you deffo managed to make that air con look a million bucks, so what's not to love?
The leaning tower of Pisa is cultural heritage, so I reckon your mailbox is perfectly fine. And the patio is merely a work in progress. The ivy will grow back, and Arwen is one of the sweetest little canines known to man. You wanna be a redneck? You better take it up a notch!
Happy Easter, y'all!

jane @ The Borrowed Abode said...

Love it! That "Sunny Lane" area is oozing with potential, between that cute little wall and the arch of flowers. I'd love to have a patio area like that. How many patios do you have, exactly?

Also, I'm impressed with your photo skillz, lady. It appears that your veggie garden is amazingly close to your classy ladder & A/C decor, yet that never showed in past pictures. :)

Thanks for partying with me!

Ryan said...

You're my hero!

Unknown said...

Love. It. All.

NicPic Photography said...

this is hysterical. I cant stop laughing!! you go girl, embrace the red-neck! :)

Renee said...

No, I'LL be stopping by with Mojitos and wet laundry! Thanks for reading my post. Cheers, to some charming redneck yards!

Christina @ The Scrappy Housewife said...

Thanks so much for linking up to my party. You definitely take the cake on reality. I love your dog! Redneck all the way baby. I am a native Floridian trapped in Maryland. You made me homesick in an awesome way. Thanks again!

Birgit said...

What a great post -- thanks for the laugh and for reminding us all that there's also beauty in chaos. :)

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

OMG girl, you are just too funny!!!

I'll have to do a post construction post and show all the garbage around my place...

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Can't we just sit in one of those chairs and smell the beautiful flowers?

Pblacksaw said...

lol.. I enjoyed my visit to your lively space.. it reminds me a lot of my own yard.. Have a fine day!

Amanda said...

The garden looks quite nice actually, I'm just miffed at that handyman for tearing the vine down.

jenn said...

okay that roofguy or whatever? blithering idiot!!

and is that bougainvillea? my father would love that!

Judie said...

I don't give a rat's ass what it looks like--just pour the wine, and we'll laugh about it!

I was late with my post, but it is up now. Check it out, Sunny!!


Jenny said...

You are totally cracking me up! Okay, the lumpy tail kind of worried me, but you say it's okay.

Who cares about the yard? Look at your fantastic garden! Just plant sunflowers all the way around the stuff you don't want to look at...then you don't have to worry about it for months!

Thanks for a fantastically real post for Alphabe-Thursday's letter 'f'.