One Hot Torch Song

Outdoor lighting is sure sign of Spring and increased activities like barbecues and late night parks on the porch.

How about we do a little recycling and achieve a nice glow in the dark?

Michael, if you're reading this, close the window NOW.

 My best friend's birthday is in a couple weeks (I'm SERIOUS, Michael, close the window!), and since he has a winery, I thought this would be a fun gift. The original idea was totally swiped from Design Sponge and then tweaked a little.

I'm also going to help you out and tell you what aisle each of these bizarre ingredients is on.

1. Empty Wine Bottles (You can use any bottle you like as long as it’s glass and the neck is 1” in diameter. Be clever!) These are actually from Michael's Sylvan Run Winery
2. Teflon Tape 1/2” (Plumbing aisle)
3. Top Plate Connector (threaded for 3/8”-16 thread rod) (Plumbing aisle)
4. 1” Split Ring Hanger (threaded for 3/8”-16 thread rod) (Plumbing aisle)
5. 1/2” x 3/8” Copper Coupling (Plumbing aisle)
6. 1/2” Copper Cap (Plumbing aisle)
7. Two Hex Nuts (threaded for 3/8”-16 thread rod) (Hardware aisle)
8. Two #10 x 1” Zinc Plated Wood Screws (if you're mounting it to wood) (Hardware aisle)
9. 3/8”-16 Zinc Plated Threaded Rod (I bought two 12" rods and cut it down to four 6" rods with a hacksaw. I made two of these for myself as well) (Hardware aisle. They will have the smaller lengths. You don't need the 10' rod from the electrical aisle)
10. Tiki Replacement Wicks (torch aisle)
11. Torch Fuel (For safety reasons, only use fuel made specifically for outdoor torches. i.e. Tiki brand) (Probably right next to the wicks)

12. Forest green spray paint (Michael's favorite color, and totally optional. You can go for the industrial look)

13. Clear spray sealer (If you want to leave the labels on the bottle)

 Okay, first up, prop your bottles label side up.

 With your gloss sealer, give the labels a few light coats, effectively sealing the edges. Or soak the bottles and remove the labels. I thought torches made from his vintages would be fun though.

 I didn't take into account that the bottle I'd saved from 6 years ago had a completely paper label that discolored. FAIL. Relax, we drank more than two bottles together.

 While that dries, thread the wicks through the copper coupling.

 The caps fit right over that to keep rain off the wicks. Cool, huh?

 Grab your safety goggles and a hack saw and cut your 12" threaded red into 2 pieces.

 The rest of this is a cinch.

 Put a hex nut on either end of your rod about 2 inches in.

 Screw the rod into the top plate connector.

 Tighten the nut against it.

 Screw the other end into the split ring and tighten that nut.

 If you like the way this looks naked, you're not in need of paint.

 Now, you'll notice the wick assembly is swimming in the neck of the bottle.

 Grab the Teflon tape.

 Wrap it tightly around the bottom of the copper piece.

 And we have a stopper.

 Perfect fit, right?

 Slip the ring over the bottle neck and tighten the rod against the bottle to secure.

 But I'm not done personally.

 Yeah, that's more like it. I also put a coat of sealer on it so it would be more resistant to the elements.

 Fill with lamp oil and light!

Obviously, this gets mounted to a wall or post, and only outdoors. Exercise the same caution you would with any small contained fire. Do not leave the flame unattended. For topical use only. Contents very hot. Post no bills. Now in COLOR! Barbie not included. Do not spray in eyes. Not microwave safe. Contents under pressure. Not for children under 3. Do not operate heavy machinery. Wear appropriate safety gear. Very sharp. Not for human consumption. Tell your doctor about alcohol use. May cause rectal bleeding or shortness of breath. Your call is very important to us. The balance shown may not include recent transactions. Please enter the email associated with your account and we will send you a temporary password. What is the name of your first pet? This product contains peanuts. Made with real salmon. Check tire pressure often. High fructose corn syrup. Just a friendly reminder, we have not received your payment. Do not remove under penalty of law. Point away from eyes. Not legal in all 50 states.

There. Bases covered.

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