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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Yeah, I Got Nuthin'

Tomorrow, I will be unveiling the Life in Rehab Valentine's Day Wreath for your amusement!

Tomorrow. 

Today?

Yeah, I Got Nuthin'.
I was too busy messing with the layout and colors for the blog.

So in keeping with my usual slacker habit of giving you the filler oat cereal when I'm out of marshmallow bits, may I present a few fun tidbits from a site I visit often to steal pearls of wisdom for my Facebook status,

Be careful if you click that link. You may not get your own blog post done. 
And I will not be held responsible.
Dear Sarah Palin,
Yes, you'll be president in 2012. That's what the whole "world ending" thing was about.
Sincerely,
The Mayans


Dear Vegetarians,
If you love us so much, why do you keep eating all of our food?
Sincerely,
Animals


Dear People Born Deaf,
What language do you think in?
Sincerely,
Genuinely Curious


Dear People Who Submit to FML and MLIA,
Today I saw a dolphin jumping over a rainbow in a sea of gummy bears and jello.
Sincerely,
Look I Can Make Things Up Too!


Dear Geometry,
Thanks for preparing me for that very important time in my life when someone asks me to name all of the properties of an isosceles triangle off the top of my head.
Sincerely,
Oh Wait...


Dear Bread,
I'm hot, turned on, and want you inside me.
Sincerely,
The Toaster


Dear Parents,
Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party.
Sincerely,
It's Not Our Fault, It's How You Raised Us

Dear Brain Surgeons,
It doesn't seem that difficult.
Sincerely,
Rocket Scientists

Dear Ancient Mayans,
Your prediction skills can't be that great... You didn't even see the Spanish coming.
Sincerely,
2012

Dear SuperGlue and NonStick Pan,
One of you is lying...
Sincerely,
Here Goes Nothing

Dear Sears,
Do you have any riding vacuum cleaners?
Sincerely,
I Hate Cleaning


Dear Police,
Kidnap is such a strong word. I prefer surprise adoption...
Sincerely,
Creative Criminal
I apologize if you were offended by any of those. It probably means you're new here.

28 comments:

Jane @ The Borrowed Abode said...

Ok, all of those were awesome!!

Now where did that splashy colorful background go? Don't tell me you're trying to blog "inside the box" suddenly :)

ourlifeinaclick.blogspot.com said...

Those are hysterical. I better stay away from that site, I'm already too distracted with other things.

Life in Rehab said...

Jane you know me better than that!
With the last background, I couldn't adjust the column widths, so I switched to this temporarily to see if everyone liked the wider content column since that was a frequent suggestion. I'm working on basic layout; I'll have it spray painted something weird soon enough.

Mel said...

Wide is good, unless it's your hips :)

Life in Rehab said...

I was hoping the slimming black would disguise how wide my column is.

Bambi said...

hahhaahhahhahahha :'D

Deb said...

There is no way I'm clicking on that site. I barely get my work done now! Love the black ;)

Kim K. said...

I'm sneaking in my favorite blogs while I'm suppose to be working. The rest of my crew is enjoying a 2nd snow day at home. No fair! Can't wait to see your Valentine wreath and what splash of color ends up on your blog background.

Heidi said...

Sunny,
You crack me up. . .and made my day! I have been emailing your link and Dear Blank, Please Blank link to all my buds! Made their day too. . .

Sharon said...

Love the black and the wider width...as long as your posts remain colorful, we'll all be ok!:-)

lisbonlioness said...

Surprise adoption!!! *screams and holds her fat belly laughing* Yeah, man, make my day!

tale of many cities said...

those are seriously funny!! thanks for the laugh! :P

Phyrflie said...

Love the black..my hubby says I'm way too into the dark stuff lol
Is it wrong that I actually want to dig out my non stick pan, and super glue?? lol

Phyrflie said...

P.S.
Can I be your FB friend??

Chelsea said...

Hilarious! Thanks for another procrastination site to add to my ever-growing list! :)

~Chelsea

La Vie Quotidienne said...

These are so funny! Loved the toaster the best...had to read it twice to make sure I got it right. (-:

Christy Beans said...

Love the black, love the funnies, but I'm wih the other Rehabaholics... no way I'm smoking the webcrack. Next thing you know I'd be up til dawn, miss work tomorrow, and it would snowball into losing my job, then eventually my house, and I'd degenerate into one hot-mess-to-order homeless bum wandering the streets begging strangers for a few moments on their iphones for a fix. =[ But feel free to procrastinate all you want and share the findings. -grin-

Heather said...

Thanks, Sunny! I needed a good laugh. :)

Amanda @ Little House on the Corner said...

Haha.... I like the one about the super glue and the nonstick pan.

The Autocrat: Haley said...

Baaahahahaha! Really funny!

Tiffany said...

Thanks.. I've been on that site for the last hour... Freakin hilarious!

Gina said...

Hilarious....May be one of my new favorite sites when I need to laugh til I cry!!! Have you seen
www.damnyouautocorrect.com

Always good for some tears/laughter :)

Judie said...

Well, I'm showing great reatraint at the moment, but that's not to say I won't weaken and click on that site later today. I'll probably wait until Rod has to run an errand--that way I won't feel guilty about hogging the computer!

Jingle said...

lovely humor..

Happy Weekend.

Christie, Describe Happy said...

Hahahaha, you take having no post for the day to a whole new level. Thanks for the laughs!

Pondside said...

I'll save the site for one of my 0400 wake-up-drenched moments...otherwise, I know that I'd visit and never leave.

Carol said...

Funny, yet brilliant. Definitely your style!

Carol
antiquetexan.blogspot.com

P.S. The snow is beginning to melt. Now I can do laundry and run the dishwasher again. Be jealous!!!

Jenny said...

You are so funny. I hate to burst your bubble, though, but the background I see is all black. Not that there's anything wrong with a black background...just sayin'.

This post was quite clever.

Thanks for sharing your humor and outlook with us.

And thanks for linking to Alphabe-Thursday's letter "Q".

A+