Spherical Logic

I was supposed to be decorating the house yesterday.

 I got out of bed, got showered and dressed, did my hair, made the bed.

 I loaded up a laundry basket.

I picked up a pair of Sam's barge-sized workout shoes.

Then a couple pairs of high tops.

My sneakers were in his organizer.

I was missing a sequined wedge in my organizer.

There were sweaters I meant to give to Goodwill in a Spacebag under the bed

next to the errant wedge.

I pulled more clothes out of the closet in size 18 and up.

 Before I knew what had happened, my room was clean, and six hours had passed.

Ever been there?

 All I have to show for it are cheesy Facebook phone photos

of me in purple to support Coming Out Day.

 God, I look like a psycho.

People are going to beg me not to do charity work for their cause.

 Eventually, I had to go be responsible, because I have people to feed.

But I figured after all that, a couple of treats were in order.

Set the oven for 350 degrees.

We're having pork chops tonight, and what's better with that than apples?

Core one for each family member, leaving the skin in tact.

Nestle it in an individual nest of foil and set these in a muffin top pan,

or just a muffin pan if that's what you have.

Stuff the cavity with a tablespoon of brown sugar

1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon, and a pat of butter.

Top this with chopped walnuts, then drizzle it with vanilla and a little amaretto.

Pop it in the oven for one hour, until the skin wrinkles and the apples are soft.

Talk about a caramel apple...

I was already going make a chocolate cake when I spied this on the shelf for $1,

and the gears started turning.

Malted Milk Ball Cake

The Cake 3 cups of all purpose flour (or wholewheat flour) 6 tablespoons of sifted good quality cocoa 2 teaspoon baking soda 2 cup white sugar 1 teaspoon salt (optional) 10 tablespoons vegetable oil 2 tablespoon white vinegar 2 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cup cold water The Icing I stick of butter (NOT margarine), softened to a gooshie consistency 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar 4 tbs cocoa powder 1 box of malted milk balls Put your flour into mixing bowl, add cocoa, baking soda, sugar and salt and mix well. Make three deep holes in the dry mixture. Into one, pour the oil, into the next, pour the vinegar, and into the next, pour the vanilla. Pour the water into the bowl, over all of this --- making a great big mess. Mix the wet and dry ingredients together until there aren't any more lumps and pour half into a greased bundt baking pan. Pour malted milk balls over the batter, keeping them toward the middle of the batter. Pour the rest over this evenly. Bake at 350°F. for about 40 minutes, test with a fork.

 While this cools, beat together the icing ingredients until fluffy.

 Slather the top of the cake with the back of a soup spoon.

 You want this to drape in a luxe manner.

Do not frost the cake completely.

Keep the bulk of the icing on top.

 Garnish with more candy.

 The thickness of the icing will hold the malted milk balls in place.

While no one is looking, slice into it.

Be forewarned, people across the house will hear you doing this.

Run. You will be trampled.