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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A Tale of Two Fridges

So, when last we left off, there was this thing in my kitchen.
My kitchen is a well known disaster. 
Ugly doesn't begin to cover it.
We blew the remodeling budget on Disney trips.
A lot.
But now it's time to do something about it.  
I've put in new floors.
I've fixed the walls and ceiling.
It's time to start chipping away at the hideous things that make people stop 
mid-canape' and ask,
"You didn't cook this in here, did you?"
The rusted out refrigerator got voted off the island first.
 That led to me and my friend and often project manager,
Peter, hitting The Depot first thing Sunday morning to pick up Dean in 
Peter's enviably huge Titan.
I'm getting truck fever again, kids.
 Dean was all shrink wrapped and ready to go.
I'd chosen a floor model textured black side-by-side 
with gallon door shelves, glass spill proof shelves,
water and ice through the door, and a 25.0 cubic foot capacity.
Clearance price was $797, and I negotiated an additional $70 off,
So brand new with warranty, Dean was $727 out the door.
But we had to get it out the door ourselves. 
 I like my new refrigerator.
A lot.
Maybe too much.

 Please note the bonus free pallet!
Why do I mention this?
It may or may not be key in the next step of out journey.

 Peter hopped in the back to keep an eye on the appliance
while I got to drive.
Insert Tim Allen grunt here.
 We discussed returning for the forklift.
It was decided Home Depot would eventually notice it was missing.
Stupid security cameras.
 So instead, we resorted to brute strength and ingenious planning.
Having at least one of those would have been nice.
 But we did have a pallet!
How did I LIVE without these?!?
If you look slowly, you may mistake the expression on my dog's face for trepidation.
It's actually just hunger.
And confusion.
And he may itch.
This wasn't going anywhere near badly enough, so I called in the minions.
Savannah was already with us, wielding the camera.
She did a rather breathtaking pictorial od the freckles on my back.
I deleted those shots immediately.
Damned kids.
 Most of this needs no captioning.
Just cringe along with me, imagining the sound a refrigerator makes when
it hits the pavement from four feet up.
I was expecting first hand experience at any moment.
 We experimented with the true sturdiness of the average free pallet.
 I'm pleased to say they ARE pretty structurally sound.
 Even though I doubt this is a recommended use.

 I'm getting motion sickness.
Well, we'll call it that.
 One doorway navigated.
 It was a tighter fit than me in a size 8.

 Still baffled.
And hungry.
 The second doorway would require removing the doors, which is a simple task
accomplished with an adjustable wrench.
My suggestion of a circular saw was ignored.

*Men working so fast clear photos weren't possible.
At least that's my claim.*

 There's no food in the fridge. Stirling.
 Go lick yourself somewhere.
Eventually, it was in the kitchen,
the doors went back on,
and most importantly,
Stirling got a Beggin' Strip.
 Now, what would you do with a spare refrigerator that has 
marginally acceptable cooling capabilities?
Remove the doors and set it on the curb to be adopted?
Have it hauled away to the landfill?
Something normal and responsible?
 Stop it.
That's just funny.
You must be new around here, 
or you'd KNOW better!
 We're just going to have a cocktail with our new friend...
 (Not everyone drinks with their appliances.)
 ...but then we have plans.
Plans that include a rusty old refrigerator, a free oak pallet,
some fine grit sandpaper...
...and THIS.
You've met Dean.
Come back tomorrow and meet Ruby.

Monday, July 30, 2012

The Great Glitzy Hack Off Roundup!

The hacks are FLYING!!!
You guys are nuts!
I'm really impressed with how crazy you've gotten with the paint and glue
artistry, using things you've got, yard sale finds,
and even cheap picnic cutlery to craft some pretty high end looking stuff!
Only two days have gone by, and already the creativity is hot and heavy.
How hot?
Let's peruse, shall we?

Natalie at NorthShore Days did a take that was simplicity at its best.
This page from the catalog spoke to her
 She pulled a glass from the cupboard, and voila!
 Easy, and I love the subtle blue that mimics water.
 Not a bad way to spend 5 minutes, eh?
Distressed Donna is more at home with country and primitives, but she
sure grabbed a can of silver spray paint like a pro.
She claims to still have a glint of it under her nails.
This little nest got guilded and nestled in tulle with lights to create...
drum roll, please...
...a Z Gallery inspired Glitzy Little Night Light!
Did she stop there?
When you have the silver bug, an oncoming freight train can't stop you.
Silver shells turned into Silvery Tree Shells~
and her neighbor wants one!
We may corrupting the neighborhood.
I think at this point, she realized everything looks better in silver
including Frozen Charlottes, glass funnels, and paper tags,
I'm waiting breathlessly to see what she does next!
but the colors were not at all her house.
 What's a girl to do?
Well look at that, it's available in other colors!
At least it is at Danni's.
You're decorating YOUR home, after all, and this is the great part of a hack;
if the original doesn't completely work for you, hey~
buy different paint.
I'm loving the blue with the silver fronds.
 Danni also fell hard for this clam shell,
which runs between $60 and $130 at the Z.
Can a price tag stop true love?
She ferreted out her own bargain version at a Goodwill for...
Eighty. Seven. CENTS.
I bow to your shopping talents, Madam.
You'd think Danni would be exhausted, but she was kind enough
to take a project I wanted to hack and show me how it's done!
Her twist was a tabletop model of the
Inspired Up Light that fit her surroundings, and seriously,  
isn't it a dead ringer?
For Mich in LA, price was no object.
She wanted this hack badly enough to pony up the extra pennies 
and blew a full dollar on her plastic bowl at a yard sale.
The back got painted a glossy white.
The interior, however...
...remained this dreamy blue.
Translucent heaven, isn't it?
 Summery, decorative, and even practical, this food tent is weighted with shells,
but also a high dollar amount.
I think Gail at Purple Hues and Me found a way around that as
a tent she already had got a seaside makeover for nearly nothin'.
This really takes a pest solution from practical to show stopping.
 This pillar is a coastal fantasy.
 She liked the look of the natural shells better and 
Scroll back and notice how nicely this compliments Gail's 
new food tent too!
They're perfectly coordinated.
 This one scared me.
Take small children out of the room.
Is it safe?
Gail went pure mad scientist here.
Her version is every bit as showy, and it's made from...
...wait for it...
If this ran her a dollar, I'd faint,
and it's a dead ringer for the $15 version!
Minions, light a fire and grab the cutlery!
My cohort in this lunacy
Steff, the Lisbonlioness of Three bed semi
was okay with the yellow.
It's a nice color.
But the zebra print?
Must. Hack. Zebra.
This little table lamp got elevated to eye catcher with some animal magnetism.
And, brave crafter that she is,
she risked her very domestic bliss for this ceiling bauble with a froufrou frock of boa trim.
c'mon, up!!!
I've had a silver shell affair for years.
I had a slight cloche call with my latest project.
Get it?
Cloche call?
Yeah, I know, not funny.
Then there were these little coral candle holders.
Steff went for a driftwood interpretation for a natural, light, airy effect.
I love how it perfectly compliments her other goodies too,
bringing in some subtle sea and sand without changing the mood.
I think I need one of these myself for the beach house.
She wasn't satisfied with that!
 Where there's a will, there's a way, and my intrepid co-hostess wanted coral.
So what did she do?
 She, um...baked it!
 That's right.
 This sea creature is pure salt dough!
Do I win some leopard spandex capris for that?
For my last weird trick...
 I genuinely, truly needed these.
I just didn't have a spare 70 smackers for the pair.
Some PVC pipe, garden supplies, and plumbing adhesive did the trick,
and I now own a shell tower that all subsequent guests
poking them for some odd reason.
I don't know why.
I should probably ask.

If you still have a few hacks up your sleeve, don't stop now!
I'll be happy to showcase your brilliance as the muse speaks.