Right Down the Toilet

With apologies to Beyonce...

Now, the downstairs bathroom was bad enough.

The wallpaper was partially melted from the fire. It was soot streaked and water damaged. The floor has an alarming amount of "give" from high powered hoses providing it with inches of standing water.

And then THIS...

...which was caused by THIS.

This bathroom's renovation had been started, with the restoration of the original floors, and next on the budget list was replacing some of the chipped or cracked flush set subway tiles. 

A new toilet? Not in the budget today.

So let's rip this sucker apart and see what's wrong.

If for some reason that big porcelain thing in your bathroom looks daunting, remember:

there's a ridiculous minimum of parts.

First things first- turn off the water supply leading to the tank. Now flush so as much water as possible drains out. Use rags or sponges to soak up any that's left so the tank is empty.

Disconnect the water supply line and set its business end in a bucket.

There are bolts holding the tank to the bowl. Use an adjustable wrench and loosen the nuts, remove them, then lift the tank off of the bowl.

Culprit number one: a cracked rubber gasket. Ewwwwwwww.

The little caps at the base of the bowl on the floor? Those are just hiding more nuts and bolts. Remove those, and the bowl lifts right off.

We were placing these big parts in the tub cushioned with towels.

Remember, they're porcelain.

Culprit number two: a worn down wax seal.

Wax rings usually come with a rubber gasket already attached.

This is going to be a cinch.

Clean up any connection to get rid of old gunk that might compromise your seal.

Like...that crap.

Pop on the nice new rubber gasket.

We made Thom clean the gunk up off the floor while we were at Home Depot. We also told him we were going to pee in a hole in the floor from now on. We've been getting nasty looks ever since.

Anyway, the new wax ring will fit right down in that hole in your floor.

Brass bolts slide into the housings on either side of the ring. 

Press them into the wax to hold it and them steady.

Drop the bowl gently onto the bolts, threading them through the holes in the base.

Straddle the toilet and encourage it to settle firmly on the wax.

I will not repeat any conversation that may or may not have ensued between my sons and me during this portion of the project.

You should have a large washer to set on the bowl where the gasket on the tank will connect. 

We bought new hardware to reassemble everything so that we would have new rubber washers to cover the bolt holes both inside and outside the tank. These should be flanked by a metal washer inside and out, and secured with a nut just outside the tank. Tighten this gently. Do not over tighten; you're still working with porcelain, people.

Set the tank on the bowl, threading the bolts through the holes. Underneath that coupling, add a washer and a nut to the bolt, wiggle the tank a little so the gasket is sealed, and tighten the nuts.

Reattach the water supply, turn it back on, hold your mouth right, say a prayer, and flush.

BOOOOOOOOOOO-YA!

Caulk the bottom and baby, you are done!

One afternoon, under $20, and now the Minions know how to do this themselves.

Sorry I didn't glue seaglass to it (yet), but sometimes, you just have to tackle the ugly too.

Now, I seriously need a shower.