The Hard Hearted Chef: Decadent Stuffed Artichokes

 Behold the artichoke.

An intimidating morsel that most are afraid to tackle.

You're about to be amazed at how easy an elegant side dish is to create.

Gather the following and get ready to wow your crew!

• 6 whole artichokes
• 3 cups Italian bread crumbs
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/8 cup chopped fresh parsley

• 1/4 cup grated Romano cheese
• 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
• 5 tablespoons olive oil, divided
• salt and pepper to taste

 Snip off the points of the leaves and cut off the very top of the choke.

 Cut off the stems, leaving a flat bottom.

 This is what you should have.

 Now, take those tight little veggies...

 ...grasp it firmly by the base and give it a firm rap on the cutting board.

 You want it open and the leaves loose.

 Smack it again if necessary.

Take out a little aggression.

 This is what you're looking for.

Mix the remaining ingredients into a paste, drizzling in more oil if needed.

 Stuff the mixture into each artichoke as shown.

Place them in a dutch oven, filling any empty space with crumpled foil

to keep them upright.

Add water and 2 tablespoons of oil up to the top of the lower leaves.

Bring to a boil, then lower the heat to a simmer and cover.

This will take about an hour.

When the leaves are tender and pull out easily, you're ready to serve them

with a little melted butter for dipping.

You just elevated Tuesday past hotdog night.

It's not a tough recipe, it's good for you, and you can tell the kids it's from another planet.

They'll scarf it up.  

Inspiration Point: Wanna Come to a Party?

While I was remodeling my mother's house,

 one day, the van broke down and had to be towed to my mechanic's,

leaving me stranded at the condo.

Eventually, my buddy, Mark and I got hungry, so we decided to strike out on foot 

in the Spring dusk and see what the neighborhood had to offer.

Not 1/4 mile away we stumbled upon a strip mall with a little sports bar.

Since we're both former athletes and wing enthusiasts, this was an easy choice.

It turned out to be a Cheers situation.

And the bar is owned by a police officer and his wife,

it's frequented by the force,

so it's a very fun, safe atmosphere.

They also oblige me by stocking non-alcoholic beer.

We both hooked up with outside work and a social life from there.

The universe is a funny thing.

 Yesterday was the head bartender's baby shower.

 With 200 guests in attendance, everyone chipped in to decorate, cook,

bake, create, and general havoc ensued.

This was one of THREE buffets!

 Our mom-to-be's mother hand made all of the decorations.

I'd make a hoot pun here, but that's beneath even me.

Swagged banners sported the baby's name...

 ...and some very practical onesies.

This kid has clothes, let me tell you.

And shoes.

I bought seven pairs alone.

She's the Imelda Marcos of the drool posse.

 This is the gift table before the party started.

You heard me.

 I was privy to the theme in advance, so my package tie-on was a pink

washcloth owl puppet.

 The decorations weren't the owlnly

avian touches.

It took us a while to brave messing this arrangement up.

 Eventually, the call of provolone and salami proved too much.

 These were the table decorations.

Clever, inexpensive, easy, and what an impact!

 I have a question...

does anyone ever eat these?

 Every seat in the house was eventually filled,

the bar was packed, and outside tables were spilling over.

Now, this shindig was co-ed, so how do you get a bunch of cops, carpenters, 

pavers and painters to enjoy a pink party?

Oh, we have ways.

 You have your lovely bartender fill baby bottles with domestic draft...

 ...and then you get the guys involved in a bottle chugging competition!

I wasn't going to miss this spectacle for the world!  

 Our cheerful proprietress doled out the suds.

 I'm not sure I can ever face these guys again.

Mom was quite pleased with the soiree,

and Baby Amelia is set for her first months of being adored.

Lose the hat, Mom.

Going Shopping

Just before Christmas, I went back to the corporate world.

I traded my tool belt for a territory...

 ...and my steel toed Brahma Boots for pumps.

These are nowhere near as comfortable, let me tell you.

 So today, I'll be sporting these.

Why, what do you wear to clean the house?

I'm taking advantage of everyone being out to purge 

Chateau Inferno before the Minions descend for Spring Break.

I get to cook enormous amounts of food again!

I hope I remember how.

I'll also be trying to keep Seamus, the new puppy,

from eating the ears off my zebras.

So...

Going to Publix and Walmart.

BRB.

If not back, avenge death.

(Zebra slippers available at Walmart, $5.

I promise to put on real shoes when I go.)

Fountain Porn

Why do I call it porn?

por·nog·ra·phy  

/pôrˈnägrəfē/

Noun

 The representation in books, magazines, photographs, films, and other media of scenes or behavior that are designed to arouse.

Not to mention...you know you rushed over here feeling guilty as hell, didn't you?

 Okay, I've been blogging for 4 1/2 years, and this is my 1744th post.

When you make that much stuff, you're bound to end up on the net somewhere, right?

So why was I still so surprised when I did a Google search for "DIY Fountain Ideas,"

and this came up...

 Oh yeah, it's one of mine.

I'll be making a new fountain soon, and although I have all of my stuff,

I wanted to see what else I could rip off was out there.

Ready to take a stroll through some DIY genius?

This should at least melt the snow for a little while.

Get a little vertical impact with this design.

Jamie's full instructions will make it a breeze too! 

Stacked stones and recycled trash can lids add up to this

industrial birdbath trio, but I could see adding a pump to this.

For Barb's project, hop over here.

How cool is this?

And how deceptively easy!

 Julie's teapot fountain is amazing,

and really brightens the yard with all of surrounding plantings.

Hop over here for this and 9 other wet tutorials.

I aven't found the how-tos on this one, but seriously,
I think you get the picture from the picture, right?

There are some really cool projects over here
for completely simple and affordable ways to add a splash to your patio.

Who else but Martha would go this tall on the porch?

This one is just an inspiration photo, but you know you could hack it
with terra cotta pot saucers and copper pipe.

Donna at Funky Junk Interiors had this in a postof her favorite fountains.
No instructions, but I could figure this one out.
Where's my glass drill bit?

All over the net, this cool image is a great idea for that spare piano
you have just lying around.

I really wanted to find instructions for this, but it proved impossible
to track down...

...as was this.
If you happen to know the original source, do share!

Professionally done, but we're all DIY Divas here.

You know this one is doable.
Get all the details over here.

This one deserves a repost.
If I had outdoor stairs, I'd be all over this.

And for our grand finale, This Old House
has a great tutorial on how to make this natural-looking stunner.
Got rocks?

Are you ready to get back out in the dirt?