Drain Pain

Did I say it's going to be a grubby week?

I wasn't kidding.

If you aren't filthy by now, you will be once we get this drain unclogged.

 Basically, this was my sink.

A filthy, chipped porcelain puddle of putrid pulpy persistence.

The Hubs suggested we call a plumber.

No.

We started out with a simple, inexpensive remedy that's chemical-free.

This should go down your drains on the 

first of each month to keep them running freely.

Put it on the calendar next to "Heart Worm Med for Mutts"

and "Flea Treat Clowder of Feline Overlords."

Take one cup of baking soda...

 Square off and face that nasty drain.

Lay down some serious smack talk.

 Pour it down the drain.

 Now take two cups of white vinegar.

 Pour that into the drain.

What the heck, right?

  You may think this shot is all foggy,

but that's just the violent chemical reaction the two ingredients cause.

Have the kiddies watch for a giggle.

Invert a full jar into the drain to cover it.

Put a pot of water on to boil.

Hold the bunny jokes, please, there are children present.

 Set the timer for 30 minutes, and...

 ...I...I don't know what the devil this is.

 Anyway, after 30 minutes, remove the jar and slowly pour the boiling

water down the drain.

Wait for the magic to happen!

Keep waiting.

 Get something to read, perhaps.

Okay, admit it, officially, this is a FAIL.

Listen to your husband beg for a plumber.

No.

I decided to take the sink apart, which is really very easy.

If you're nervous about your first time,

take a few photos of the assembly so that putting it back 

together will be a breeze.

Make sure you clean out the pipes, and use new teflon tape on the threads 

of the pipes for a tight seal.

I decided to replace the nasty drains themselves.

One was rusted shut, and no amount of naval jelly would budge it.

So I brought in my Middle Minion.

That sucker is OUT like RuPaul.

Thom the Destructor is my demolition specialist.

He bent the edges of the drain up and pushed it through.

However, after all of that, the sink was still clogged.

Our problem appeared to be in the wall.

I think I saw a tear trail down Sam's cheek as he whimpered the word, "Plumber?"

No.

Mark your territory, kids, we're getting serious.

 Say hello to my little friend.

This is a drain bladder.

I've had it since the first time the sink was pronounced "unfixable" by

the males in the house and the "P" word was suggested.

I had it running again with this and the help of three 

Elementary School Minions.

You can do this.

A new part is $10 at Home Depot.

We checked.

 You'll need a garden hose that will reach from its spigot to your offending fixture.

This end screws on the hose.

If you're deriving any innuendo from that, you're welcome.

 The ridged middle section expands to fill the pipe snugly.

You people have filthy minds, do you know that?

This end spurts...shut up...and takes out the clog.

Take the drain pipe out of the wall.

Run the hose into your pristinely clean kitchen and marvel

at how a simple hose makes the whole thing look like garbage.

Feed the hose into the wall and tell that clog to say its prayers.

Have rag towels on hand in case things get ugly.

Run the hose for 7 to 10 minutes, then remove it and reassemble the pipes.

Run the water in your sink for a good 5 minutes just to make sure.

Victory is ours!

And nothing says VICTORY like taking down the sink sign using

a Renaissance Festival replica of 

Sting from Lord of the Rings!

Am I right???

Who cares?

I get to cook now without emptying buckets like a pioneer woman.

And relax...I have a new stainless steel sink.

That thing goes next.