How Much for the Cow?

I'm supposed to be getting some exercise without over doing it.

This evidently doesn't mean sitting up suddenly when the crew on Criminal Minds moves in to make the arrest.

It also doesn't mean doing my old 5 mile hike through the neighborhood at a brisk pace.

It does seem to mean a gentle walk somewhere interesting with lots of benches.

Lots of benches.

Now is the time to challenge me to a race.

Here's my new gym and day spa, The Yellow Green Farmer's Market, a fabulous selection of locally grown/baked/pickled/raised/dried/sewn/strung/brewed products.

And benches.

Just in case you have trouble with navigation...

...there are a few directional clues...

...that may aid you in finding the building...

...which is small and discreet.

I feel a little like a Fischer Price playset piece right now.

We skipped on the honey and homemade jams for this trip, but it wasn't easy.

They had coconuts in this stall larger than your head. I was a little frightened, vowed to remember them for next Halloween, and then started concocting something both tropical and macabre.

Straight up veggies and fruits? It's always season here.

The idea of consuming locally grown and raised products has become increasingly popular and affordable.

Random signage.

Speaking of locally produced, how's this for a menu? 

Tempting if you have a dog...

...and if you aren't a pooch parent, they can help you with that too..

I LOVE olives, so this little tasting stand was my first rest stop.

Bench near free olives=bad idea.

They had a few varieties to choose from.

Okay, more than a few.

At $2 a container, I see Tapas in my future.

My mother was along for the ride and nearly wiped out the citrus tree inventory.

You have no idea how many trees will hang from a wheelchair until you've tried it.

Nab some fresh flowers for the table while you're at it, and get into an agree-to-disagreement on orchid care with the cashier.

Don't tell me how much light my terras need &^%$#@.

I love metal sculptures in bright Caribbean colors, so we may have to sneak back over here.

I tried to wedge into this shop, but the pole on the grocery cart wouldn't let me. After spotting the olive oil selection, that's probably divine intervention at work.

[Hyperventilate]

Bertha, I bow to your superior spoutage.

Locally grown and cooked pickles? Just hand over the garlic dills and no one gets hurt.

Gee, Mom bought an awful lot of corn...

she's 71 people, not dead.

 

A guy has celery sticking out of one ear, lettuce out of the other, and a zucchini up his nose.

He goes to the doctor and asks him what's wrong.

The doctor tells him, "Well, for one thing, you're not eating right."

Cure the Cute Challenge!

Do NOT try this at home!

Or anywhere else.

Do not gather these supplies.

Stay out of that medical waste.

What the heck are you thinking???

 If you're like us, you have some unnecessarily attractive children just sitting around the house. 

These can be annoying, as they lure people in trench coats who stand on the edge of the lawn in the petunias, and those artists 

who design families to stick on the rear windows of mini vans.

How do you remedy this issue once and for all???

For this project, you will need:

Super glue or construction cement

Latex found in a dumpster behind the hospital

Floor sweepings from a pet grooming salon

Accessories that even your Uncle Murray has deemed out of date

A large friend who is just big enough to hold you down

 First, restrain the subject and then just apply adhesive willy-nilly to any surface you find overtly pleasing to the eye. Start covering it with waste material in a random fashion.

Almost there! Check your work. If you still have the desire to hug him, look around for more "embellishments" 

Imagine THIS on your Grand Caravan!

Well, maybe a three inch tall version with wings splattered on the grill, but certainly not on the back holding a little T-ball bat, eh?

Please send us pictures of how you have cured the cute in your household, whether it be offspring, pets, or significant others.

It just can't be worse than this.

Seaside Autumn Continues

There were lots of scary things this Halloween that kept us from our bloggy duties.

[Cats. Lots of them. Prepared to devour your souls. Or tuna.]

We decided that as we removed our paltry offerings to the macabre, we'd keep our decor a bit more natural and fresh.

Not quite as heavy on the traditional orange.

Now, if you think black pumpkins aren't natural, go check out the collapsed fuzzy lumps left over from the 31st oozing down your front steps. Have they gone insect condo yet?

Nature at its finest!

The glitter just makes it FABULOUS!

Okay, maybe the Aqua Pumpkins from last year aren't found in any garden not tended by Smurfs, but they look pretty jazzy with some sprigs of silk orchid and the Leaf Hurricane from last Summer, don't they?

I love when an Evil Plan works out.

 We did a whole display of skulls on the buffet. In the dining room. Beside the table. YUM!

I thought it was understated and tasteful. For me, anyway.

But the season dictated a change, so we decided on white pumpkins, gourds, and Fake-corns mingled with pine cones for contrast.

I'm fighting to keep the skull wreath, using a twisted argument I'm not sure I should share.

I'm losing the debate.

But I do like the lightness of it all.

Now for those of you with a more traditional bend, here's a sneak preview of the hutch.

No, it isn't done.

Feel free to arrange it with your eyes.

We'll be back with something a little more finished.

For now, Sam's been pleading with me to fix the plumbing in the kitchen, and I think I can get down on the floor again...

If I can't, you'll help me up, right?

Seaside Autumn Begins

 So, well over a month ago, we decided to come up with a free solution to my magazine bonanza while keeping them close at hand, creating a beverage perch, and making it possible for Mom to squeeze by in her wheelchair to join us for DVDs.

 I decided we should live with the configuration for a bit before buying it a ring.

It did the job, but we need a little pizazz here, right?

So out came the magazines...from as far back as a decade.

Hey, don't judge.

This is a job for those of us with no cold white stuff on the ground.

We taped off the crates and gave the lips a coat of Rustoleum Gloss Black spray paint.

The inside 4 sides also got 3 light coats.

We largely shunned the back wall.

Allow to dry. When the paint no longer rubs off on a convenient Feline Overlord, you're ready to proceed to the next step.

Have a minion measure that unadorned back wall

Free Garbage Spokesmodel.

Cut some wrapping paper to fit, adding 2 inches to the measurement.

Relax, my lack of commitment will come shining through any minute.

Place the paper FACE DOWN in the crate and fold the edges to give you a perfect, smooth fit.

Turn the paper over and secure it to the back of the crate using looped tape or double sided tape.

Easily changeable with the seasons, your mood, or the likelihood that one of the cats will shred the paper in an evil fit of tuna withdrawal.

It happens.

Put your stuff back.

 Next step?

We'll decide on a permanent arrangement and bolt this baby.

Somebody make sure my drill is charged please while we play with blocks.