Strange Porn: Do Not Try This at Home!

Here at Life in Rehab, once in a while, we do 

Hacker's Challenges:

I visit a store or pick a theme, post a whole bunch of cool stuff,

and throw down the gauntlet to see who can figure out how to create it!

This is NOT one of those times.

The brilliant minds over at Must Have Cool have assembled a very strange

collection of some of the weirdest stuff I've ever seen.

And I've seen some weird stuff.

You've met my kids.

So without further adieu, may we present a selection of items we like to call

Do Not Try This at Home!

Do you suffer from Pet Separation Anxiety?

Well here's the answer: a finger aquarium.

I'm not sure what you'd put in there, but this is odder than those shoes from the 70's 

with fish in the heels.

To be quite honest, this might have my children REMEMBERING 

to take their umbrellas.

 Just what my husband needs...

encouragement not to throw the caps in the bar trash can.

 Okay, seriously?

Stop it.

 For those times when it's just inconvenient to go grab another cold one.

Let's see that stupid Rottweiler down the street mess with Mr. Mittens now!

 I'm not going to lie to you...

I'd just feel weird getting a cotton ball out of there.

What to get the 32 year old child that still lives in your basement.

 I think the twins from The Shining are even creepier like this.

 Our condolences, Lionel.

I'd describe my style as Twisted Beach Cottage,

and I wouldn't do this...

...or would I?

 For people not quite ambitious enough to run away and join the circus.

 I'll admit it...this is very similar to my sons' alarm clock.

They both have loft beds, and it's across the room.

They set the snooze to allow for target practice.

 Reportedly, they also smell like cookies.

That's what I need, a non-food item I want to eat.

Could you make my purse into a meatball sub?

 Yes, it's kind of cool, but all I heard were the words,

"You'll put your eye out, Kid!"

 "You have WHAT on your desk?!?!"

 Why not?

I can never find ours anyway.

 I....I....I....

NO.

 I'm going to beg all of you to never show this to my husband.

Promise me.

Swear it.

 *Refrains from the obvious, "Getting Trashed" joke*

 This must be in response to those little ballet flats that fold and go in your purse.

 I suppose if your entire head is a canvas...

"I dunno, your necklace could be anywhere."

 Sure, why not?

What's a day without a good rationalization?

The ultimate toilet plunger.

 I'm not sure I'd ever put it away.

 Comes with childhood night terrors and bed wetting.

 Does this camera make my photos look fat?

 There is nothing you can do to make these classy.

Quit trying.

 A. It obviously is inaccurate.

B. Who would wear this?

 Cosplay:
short for "costume play", is a type of performance art in which participants wear costumes and accessories to represent a specific character or idea from a work of fiction.

Also see : Not Trying Very Hard

 I can't tell you how many times I've wished I had a tiny saw hidden in my wedding band.

 I'm thinking for the front door...

 "Now where did I leave my pencil?"

 Did I say I wanted a saw in my wedding band?

Why stop there?!?

 Whu....?

 I'd also like someone dressed as the Grim Reaper to just stand wordlessly

in the back of the room at my funeral.

A little something to go with the previous Teddy Bear.

 I should have thought of this for my cilantro.

Not that it would have worked, mind you.

 And just why ARE we using Wild Cherry Lip Gloss to attract men?

We're all on a budget, right?

 The Tetris Game you can take ANYWHERE.

Never be without something stupid again!

 I admit it...I'm making one.

You'll have your kids fighting over who gets to scrub the toilet.

Or your significant other.

 I'm trying to fathom the thought process that spewed this item out.

I assume tequila was heavily involved.

 "Go ahead, make my cabinets."

 Do your in-laws tend to linger as over night guests?

 I'm not going to lie to you;

I want this.

 What else would you set your glass on while watching a rerun marathon of Friends?

 Must...make..."apeeling"...joke...

 I, for one, do not wish to drizzle anything gooey from a bunny's scalped head 

onto my food first thing in the morning.

I have no idea how they work, but I dare anyone to borrow a book.

I'm not sure what kind of decor this Monster Ball would fit,

but man, does it have potential as a Time Out Chair!

Did any of this make you say, "How do I get my hands on one?!?"

And if you MAKE one...you know the rules.

Let me know so we can all get another laugh.