Fountain Porn

Why do I call it porn?

por·nog·ra·phy  

/pôrˈnägrəfē/

Noun

 The representation in books, magazines, photographs, films, and other media of scenes or behavior that are designed to arouse.

Not to mention...you know you rushed over here feeling guilty as hell, didn't you?

 Okay, I've been blogging for 4 1/2 years, and this is my 1744th post.

When you make that much stuff, you're bound to end up on the net somewhere, right?

So why was I still so surprised when I did a Google search for "DIY Fountain Ideas,"

and this came up...

 Oh yeah, it's one of mine.

I'll be making a new fountain soon, and although I have all of my stuff,

I wanted to see what else I could rip off was out there.

Ready to take a stroll through some DIY genius?

This should at least melt the snow for a little while.

Get a little vertical impact with this design.

Jamie's full instructions will make it a breeze too! 

Stacked stones and recycled trash can lids add up to this

industrial birdbath trio, but I could see adding a pump to this.

For Barb's project, hop over here.

How cool is this?

And how deceptively easy!

 Julie's teapot fountain is amazing,

and really brightens the yard with all of surrounding plantings.

Hop over here for this and 9 other wet tutorials.

I aven't found the how-tos on this one, but seriously,
I think you get the picture from the picture, right?

There are some really cool projects over here
for completely simple and affordable ways to add a splash to your patio.

Who else but Martha would go this tall on the porch?

This one is just an inspiration photo, but you know you could hack it
with terra cotta pot saucers and copper pipe.

Donna at Funky Junk Interiors had this in a postof her favorite fountains.
No instructions, but I could figure this one out.
Where's my glass drill bit?

All over the net, this cool image is a great idea for that spare piano
you have just lying around.

I really wanted to find instructions for this, but it proved impossible
to track down...

...as was this.
If you happen to know the original source, do share!

Professionally done, but we're all DIY Divas here.

You know this one is doable.
Get all the details over here.

This one deserves a repost.
If I had outdoor stairs, I'd be all over this.

And for our grand finale, This Old House
has a great tutorial on how to make this natural-looking stunner.
Got rocks?

Are you ready to get back out in the dirt?

How's That Resolution Coming Along?

 Those of you who are new to LIR might not know it,

but this was me 3 years ago.

220 pounds and a size 24, I was eating my way into the hospital.

My doctor wasn't sure I'd live to go home.

After that, with the shape I was in, he gave me two years.

Obviously, it was time to get busy.

 Since "death" is kind of permanent,

 my diet changed, I stopped drinking,

 and I walked EVERYWHERE.

90 pounds later, I slipped into a size 8 for the first time in my life.

You can do this.

I broke out the weight loss motivation and 12 pounds are gone!

It really does help to visualize your progress, and each time you move a marble,

it's its own small reward.

I'm not done yet, of course.

Because I'd rather look like this.

(NOTE: I'm not a weight loss guru or expert.

I'm a middle aged mother who cut down on alcohol and fat and started exercising more, period.

 Consult a doctor before starting any weight loss program.

Set realistic goals not based on super models,

and remember, you are gorgeous at any weight.

Work it, Girl.)

Fortunately for me, I have a best friend.

The kind you can text at 3:00 AM just because you're awake.

Meet my BFF, Michael, from Diabetes Done Right.

He too got the news that some drastic changes were in order,

and now he's blogging daily recipes to shave off sugar, fat, and cholesterol.

It's working, too, because he's 14 pounds lighter himself in just a few weeks!

Having someone you can call for encouragement helps a lot.

Now stay tuned, because I have two projects underway 

for the Male Minion Man Caves!

 Samwow needs a coffee table, and this curbside oversized 

end table should be just right for his small space.

Thom's in need of a mirror, and this castoff just needs a little love

to be perfect.

With the kids coming home this weekend, I need to get busy!

Stuff for the Studios Part I

I have a confession...

 there's a new guy in my life.

Meet Seamus O'Bitey!

I popped by the farmer's market to get herb plants

and came home with a Lab/Irish Setter/Pittbull rescue

that's making me crazy, sucking all my time, eating my shoes,

and making me laugh constantly.

I'm surprised I got in a project for Thom's apartment!

As you may remember, my sons, Samwow and Thom,

now have bare-bones studio cribs.

The boys have vastly different styles;

Samwow's preference is a palette of khaki, black and white

with a very masculine tone,

while Thom wants to go with a beachy theme.

We're decorating on a shoe string, but the boys are kind of used to that with 

a Momma like me.

My wallet is shut so tight it squeaks.

 Now we all know my proclivity for candle projects.

I make the strangest stuff.

I'll make a light feature out of anything.

So when Thom wanted candlelight for dinner, which is

what he grew up on, I thought of something flameless (campus policy)

that would fit the bill.

His existing centerpiece is seagrass in a square vase, so...

 ...I hit Dollar Tree for something that would work!

 All you need is 2 votive holders...

 ...2 square, tall vases...

 ...filler of your choice to match your decor...

 ...some flickering battery tealights...

 ...and Goop!

I'm a huge fan of this waterproof, silicone sealant adhesive.

This is the best stuff for glass on glass projects.

 Okay, this is a quick one.

Put your desired filler in the vases.

 Run a bead of Goop around the top.

Center the votive holder on top.

Allow this to dry for at least 4 hours.

 I then nestled the tealights in some marbles I had left 

from a previous project.

 At almost 15 inches tall, these have a presence!

 With Thom's burgeoning tropical style, these will 

make a statement.

I think they'd also be perfect for a DIY wedding,

and at $5 a pair, they'll fit any budget.

And now, for your giggle-snort of the day...

Thanks to my good buddy Jane at The Borrowed Abode.

She and her new hubby Ryan are fellow pet junkies,

although not on the crazy-cat-lady-starter-kit level I am.

Emergency Romance!

 Is your dessert menu for tonight as empty as this bowl???

It's okay, Besties, we're here for you.

If you have 20 minutes, I can have a spread as decadent as original sin in your

fridge waiting to spark romance!

Easy and inexpensive, this will become your go to dessert spread!

 You'll need 5 packages of semi sweet baking chocolate.

Unwrap two and break them up into a microwave safe bowl.

Take one can of this stuff...

Pour it over the chocolate.

Microwave this for 1 1/2 minutes, stir it thoroughly,

 then zap it for 30 more seconds.

Stir it until smooth.

This is my new best friend.

Available in the craft section at Walmart, this is flavoring on steroids.

Pour one of these suckers in and mix it up.

Toss in two cups of shredded coconut, blending thoroughly.

Scrape the whole mess into a 9x9 greased pan and refrigerate.

You just made my Sunshine State Fudge.

Don't wash that bowl yet!

 You're about to use it again.

 Bust up the next 3 boxes of chocolate,

 Pour one cup of this stuff over it and nuke...er...MICROWAVE it for two minutes.

It'll look like this.

Don't panic.

Stir until it looks more like this.

This is a basic truffle recipe.

 You'll need one of these bad boys.

Yes, you could make your own, but the clock is ticking!

 There's no time!

 Pour the chocolate into the shell.

Remove the plastic first.

I shouldn't have to say that, but there's a reason curling irons

are marked "For External Use Only."

I want to meet the person that made that necessary.

Seriously.

 Now grab a jar of this.

Glop it on the pie with an ordinary spoon.

 Use the spoon to swirl it in loosely.

 Garnish with something non-poisonous.

Again, I should not have to tell you that.

I used fresh mint.

Pop it in the fridge til set.

That would be Sunny's Raspberry Truffle Pie.

Notice, you have a bowl, a spatula, and a spoon to wash,

and two gourmet desserts in the fridge.

When both are chilled, cut the fudge into squares and amaze your Valentines!

The kids are coming home tonight, and I'm soooo ready!

For a heart healthy and diabetes friendly start to your night,

visit my real life BFF Michael's blog for some delicious entrees 

that might just counteract what I just made.